Walking in the Dark

“For we walk by faith, not by sight” 2 Corinthians 5:7

I’m pretty sure I’ve recited that verse at least a million times a day for the last few weeks.  Right now we’re walking in the dark.  It’s pitch black out and we’re following a pin prick of light ahead of us.  We know where we’re going, but have no idea how we’re going to get there.  It’s seriously scary.

The weird thing is, for the most part I feel calm.  This is not our journey – it’s God’s journey.  Since it’s His journey I know that there’s nothing I can do through my own power to get to the end – He has to guide me.  That’s the weird thing about walking completely blindly – you can’t help but rely on the One that is guiding you.  You can’t second guess where you’re going, because you don’t know.  You can’t try to change the path or take a shortcut, because you don’t know where the path is going next.  All you can do is take the hand of your guide and take one step at a time.  So that’s what we’re doing.

We’ve committed to this adoption even though it seems impossible.  It has a price tag of over $25,000.  We don’t have even close to that much money on hand and we have no idea where it’s going to come from.  But God does.  We’re an imperfect family, maybe the home visit won’t go well.  But God chose us.  We don’t know how we’re going to manage to travel for several weeks with 5 kids at home.  But God will show us.  We have no idea what kind of health needs our new daughter will have and whether they can be met in our rural area.  But God directed us to her.  We’re nervous about how exhausting life will be with 2 children with intense special needs plus 4 others.  But God will strengthen us.

This adoption seems impossible.  We’re not the perfect family.  We’re not wealthy, our house needs work, our cars are old, and we have a million things competing for our time and energy.  We have days where we’re exhausted beyond belief.  We’re not the family that you imagine when you think of someone adopting internationally.  And that, my friends, is EXACTLY why I think God chose us.  Because if we can do this, anyone can do this.  It is my prayer that someone will see us, talk to us, hear about us, and think “wow – I can do that”.  That’s when lives will be saved.  That is why I push forward – not just for the life of our little girl, but for the lives of the millions of other orphans that need families.  Not families with tons of money and fancy houses – families with lots of love.

So we will continue to walk in the dark.  And sitting here, in the beginning of the long, scary journey through the darkness, I already know one thing – this journey will forever impact the souls of our family.  This journey will be the single most powerful thing we have ever done.  Not because of the end result, but because of the walk.  It will be life-changing because we will spend the next several months walking blindly, being led by nothing but Jesus holding our hands and leading us through the dark.  We won’t be able to see the path, but if we stay focused, we will be able to feel our Savior with us every hour of every day.  Yes, it will be scary.  We already know that there will be bumps along the way.  Maybe there will be days when we feel like we’ve wandered off the path and we’re falling into the abyss, but those days might just be the most powerful – when we fall toward the bottom but God catches us.  When we are reminded that God is in control, even when it feels like He is not. 

My continued prayer for the next several months is that we can continue to lean into God each step of the way and that this journey will build a stronger faith in our family.  Please join us in praying daily for the adoption process, and for our daughter as she waits.  Please pray for the staff as well as the orphans being left behind.  Please pray for the millions of orphans throughout the world, especially those with special needs.  Please pray for cultural changes to occur that would end the practice of families giving precious children up simply because of a special needs diagnosis. 

“For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”  Isaiah 41:13

Thank you for following our family’s journey and praying for us.  If you feel led to give financially toward the cost of our adoption, you may do so at: http://reecesrainbow.org/76200/sponsoroden

Every dime will go toward bringing our precious daughter home.  Any extra funds raised will go directly to orphan care.